Pure Class

Tim says:
So, the upshot is that I can’t bone her for a while

James says:
did the conversation go:

James says:
“So honey, doctor tells me not make sex for one week”

James says:
“Really? What did the dentist say?”

Tim says:
ahaha

Tim says:
did you make that up?

James says:
not really, there’s a similar joke

Tim says:
it’s a good one

Tim says:
classy too

James says:
guy taps his wife on the shoulder- she says “I’ve got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow I want to stay fresh”

James says:
guy says “Have you got a dentist appointment too?”

James says:
then he bully-bums her

Tim says:
hahaha

Tim says:
what is bully-bumming?

James says:
have you seen the film “Scum”?

Tim says:
no

James says:
oh right-

Tim says:
i’ve seen a film of scum. atop my dishwater

James says:
the TV show “Oz”?

Tim says:
yeah

James says:
that’s bully bumming

Tim says:
a man raping a man?

James says:
it’s just raping someone up the arse, and just really doing it to prove a point

Tim says:
hahaha

Tim says:
cuz nothing quite gets the point across…

James says:
oh you don’t have to tell them twice

Tim says:
they rarely ask for clarification

James says:
“I understand you’re angry, but I’m not sure what I’ve done to- OW JESUS- OK OK!!”

Tim says:
and thus your neighbor’s dog never poops in your yard again

Tim says:
especially not after you bummed the dog too

James says:
great phrase isn’t it?

Tim says:
i love it

Tim says:
you ever read around the world in 80 days?

James says:
I can’t remember

James says:
so it must’ve been good

Tim says:
i read it a long time ago

Tim says:
took me 80 days

James says:
like 24

Tim says:
i felt a significant lack of accomplishment when i realized that

James says:
yeah, and you probably met far fewer indian princesses whilst doing it too

Tim says:
anyways, there’s a scene about cold bath water which would be greatly enhanced by a raw bully-bumming

James says:
what scene couldn’t be enhanced by it?

Tim says:
haha it’s true

James says:
especially in Schindler’s List

Tim says:
in fact, what holiday, birthday, bar mitzvah, knighting ceremony, or thursday morning couldn’t be enhanced by it

James says:
I’m in accord

James says:
“Bully Bumming- Not Just For Prison!”

Tim says:
it’s a new way of communication. instead of using a cellphone, i use my penis is somebody’s ass

James says:
like semaphore

Tim says:
 banging out morse code

Tim says:
although the shouting the ear is usually enough

Tim says:
England expects every man to do his duty! (thrust)

James says:
and thrusting with each word “No…More….Egg…Sandwiches!!!!!”

Tim says:
haha

Tim says:
funny how we both thought of the thrusting aspect

Tim says:
shows how much in accord we are

James says:
well surely that’s the main activity during the bully bum

Tim says:
yeah, it’s really all thrusting isn’t it

Tim says:
you know, if i was bully bumming somebody

Tim says:
i’d give them a wet willy too

Tim says:
you know what that is?

James says:
when you wet your finger and put it in the ear right?

Tim says:
yeah

Tim says:
and then the person would be like, “hmm…wet willies are not bad at all”

James says:
true

Tim says:
“in fact, i rather like them”

James says:
right- lunch time is over

Tim says:
alright

James says:
smell you later!

Tim says:
think about what we’ve said