Online dating

Tim says:
remember that 16 year old who liked you?
James says:
oh yeah her
James says:
she must be legal by now
Tim says:
that’s what i’m thinking
Tim says:
what’s her email?
James says:
christ, how long have you had that clock running down on your desktop?
Tim says:
hehe
James says:
I dunno, I’ve got loads of fucking ludicrously nicknamed girls on my list and have forgotten who all of them are
James says:
also I blocked her a while back
Tim says:
i remember that
Tim says:
all that time you could’ve been grooming her
James says:
she was fucking grooming me
Tim says:
damnit, go find her
James says:
aren’t there any other impressionable girls available?
Tim says:
i’m looking
James says:
I’m not having it on my conscience when they find her chopped up in a bin
Tim says:
oh, they’ll never find her (laughs macabrely)
James says:
oh OK then, it’s ilikecandy@hellokitty.co.kr
Tim says:
eggsellent

Humidity, a lack thereof.

Tim says:
man, i’ve got this strange problem
James says:
strange like you’ve killed another hooker?
Tim says:
no, i said “strange” as in unusual
James says:
OK carry on
Tim says:
i’ve got a humidifier
James says:
wow that is weird
Tim says:
and every time i use it, i wake up with my lungs huring and feel like i have a full blown fever
James says:
tell me why I shouldn’t say “Then turn it off”
Tim says:
i dunno…i just think it’s strange
Tim says:
i need a humidifier. i guess i’ll have to buy a new one
James says:
who needs a humidifier?
Tim says:
my nose gets all dry
Tim says:
and my bogeys get all flakey
Tim says:
and i wake up and my eyelids feel like their glued to my eyes
James says:
maybe your humidifier is haunted
Tim says:
that’s without the humidifier
Tim says:
i used it for one year and it was great
James says:
you have to clean them out and things I think
Tim says:
i did
James says:
then maybe it’s haunted
Tim says:
well, it’s got one compartment for water, and another for the souls of the damned
James says:
which one did you clean out?